Squee for Me presents:
Teh Best Worst Beeebop Fnafiction EVAR
It began innocently
enough one night in #cowboybebop on altnet...
Wow, I wonder if anyone's ever written that fanfic?
BBT: One in which Jet died?
Youji: No, one in which they found the Dragonballs and brought
Squee obliged our curiosity by authoring the following...
*lol it was kinda
cute spike wushdff lyihng on the statisz hrhr wass dead suddenly
faye came up "spike i have dragonballs u r ok" she sad. Fgayr revived
spiek wtih the dfragon balls he was ok he smile d fayr gand spike kissed
n they got married an d had three giels who wee pretty an smart and were
I can't even type that badly if I try
Syd: It's actually harder to type that way.
sudfbeellnly faye was captured
by vicous he wuz ok he had lvied her daughters said "we have
to redxues mom omgg omg" so theuyf went super saiyan and flew away theyu
foudn viciious he was ready toe rape faye
Digitalsin: toe rape...
sudenepy spike bust in he screame
d "STAMD BACK GIRLS I WILL RESCUE FAYE" And etcetera, etcetera.
the girlsd said we r all grown up now we can do it! haha
spike said no i do not want u to get hurt stand back!
th guirls pouted they were sad th ey wanted to be cool, meanwhile
vicious was truing to rape faue buit no one notcied they were
bithcing to much spiek n thew girls started scrwming
at each other meanwhile faye TRANSFORME DI INTO SAILOR FAYE AND SHE MAGICKED
VICIOUS'S ASS ROFL ROFL ROFL meanwhbiel vicious rabn wawy he cried "omg
faye i did not know you could do that" meanwhile spike
and his daughrerz were fightin gan fighting so he gets a
mail order bride omg taht si teh sadz spiek powered
up and his gi4lzz said omg! omg omg! spike kioedked
vicous pansy ass! ffnet si kewl but hen vixious
powere du uppp tooo!
I want to see Spike go SSJ... does that mean his hair becomes even more
hhe hit spiek with an energy
bult spikw feel ovver he was hurt real bad fayer and the guierls screamed
and criwes an viocus went "BWAHAHHAHA!
isn't Jet in this story?
BBT: because Jet is relegated to comic relief in bad fanfic.
Squee: i'm getting to him!
sudehnenly jet burst in
lol he was ugl;y not pretty though
haha = ( so the gurl wents ewww it is nasty old jet
... jty growled and hei said i will save uu!
so he crucnjhed vicious neckk like a REAL MAN AND VICIOUS RAN
...ran away with a broken neck...?
buu spike he was coughing up
blood faye cried he is not ging to make it hs tears dropped
on spiek and he magically was recvived he jumped up he wwas happy he was
fne again! he higged his girls "I am sorry i ever doubted you omg we r
I have a sudden urge to reread "Hellstorm Evangelion".
then he whsked
faye awwya to his Malibu Mansion ihn the swordfish they had really steamuy
sex (authorsss note:omg! i am soooo naugghty! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^) eien
came up he went omg they r making pupppies that is so romantic
jet was feeling very salone and sad so he wnr off to a bar he drowned
his woes he was drinking a daquiri
JET DRINKING A DAQUIRI?!
he lokked up from his daquiry
he had been cryuing into it omg! it was udai he was ok! he took
o0ut his knofe he attacked jey
Oh, well, that's okay then; he didn't go after Jet.
jet leaped up fromm the bar
he took out his revolver he shot udai udai just healed himself though
(like Mewtwo! ROFL!) udai laughed evily jet gasped omg he will
not die! Spike comwae into the bar he wanted a pina
coloada but he could nto because jet an dudai were fighitng he
went omg! jet i need to help u! so he took ou his LIGHTSABER and he started
slashing udai the lightsaber weorked really well for killing
udai soon udai was dead and bleeding it was really gross
"hedied and blood was EVRYWHEREERE!!!!!!")
DS: Nobody bleeds from lightsabers! Eye can back me up on that
spike looked at jet jet was
ver thankful he hugged Spike "Omg you r are my best freind how can i ever
Hot steamy sex.
spieke said "u do not need
to repay me! u can come and be a jedi super saiyan samuari anten seven
rurouni fencer bounty hunter with me!" so they awll went off
to spike's Malibu Mansion and they masde planes to get a bounty theyg
girls came in thewy said "can we help please?" jet said "no it is not
for girls like u u will get hurt" but spike said no, they r very tough
i taught them all aobut karate and judo and they have magic powers like
gah, I immediately thought "Brett Weaver" when I saw the word 'Malibu'.
it's the shirts, man, THE SHIRTS!
BBT: Oh God, now I've got a terrible mental image of Brett, Spike,
and Jet all posing for a photo in hawaiian shirts. CURSE YOU, DS! CUUUURRRSE
th egurls suited uo into thier
magic catsuits thy put on thir fighting gear thyey jetted up through the
ceiling in their jet packs jet said wow i am impressed with
ur girls, spike said haa ha ha they r very pretty and smart and jet said
"i know they r" then spie said here is th eboutny she is
called julia i used to love her but now I do not because she is a SYNDICATE
WHORE! (rofl julia sux so much she is so bad she is all the fault of spikes
death ;_; ;_; :_;) so jet and spiek flew off after the girls and they
were going to catch julia because she was so bad an devil the girls said
"spike u told us about julia u used to likwe her right?" and spike said
"no i do not she is ugly and a SYNDICATE WHORE!" they landed
in this big apartment building they wnet up the stairs they found julia
sh ewas in her apartment making evil plans.
Julia: "soon I will have ALL THE YARN IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM!"
she cackled insanely "ha ha
ha! i will take over the world and I will seduce handsome young men to
do my bidding! and then i will kick puppies and talking l33rt!
she looked over to her evil assitatns they were gren and ed they were
very evil becaus erthye were weird and bad she said "gren and
ed, i want u to go and kill spike because he does not love me aymorw!"
gren said "no, he is nice" and ed saod "i p33r him!" but julia
pointed a gun at their heads and she said "GO AND DO IT OR I WILL MAKE
YOU BLEED AND DIE AND U WILL CRY! IT WILL BE VERY BAD!" so they ran away
but as they were going down the stairs they met spek and jet and the girls
spiek grabed gren u know where julia is! i need to kill her because she
is hte fault of my demise!
"The fault of my demise" Hmm... almost too coherent.
DS: just throw in some Ninja holograms.
gren wwas very
loyal though eh liked julia she was ncie to him she even let him borrow
her bras they fit just right, so gren said no she is not up there u r
wrong ur lead is wrong but spike said NO I KNOW
SHE IS U THERE TELL ME THE TRUTH OR I WILL HURT U! but gren stoood his
grodn he needed those bras but then ed said "she is right up here! i ph33r
you!" so spike and jet and the girls they ran up the stairs they fund
julia she was feeling very evil she had alreadyd killed britney spears
and eminem and Brad pitt(omg noooo! ;_; she is so evil! i knew it!) she
was just makign plans to kill all puppies amd oulaw thongs but then spike
burst in he growled and went super saiyan, julia screamed like a little
girl! but then spieks girls thye cma eup they tok out
their light sabes they did ninja mvoes and they slashed julia to pieces!
but then julia's parts came together into MEGA GUNDAM DEATHSCYTHE JULIA
MEGA GUNDAM DEATHSCYTHE JULIA shot engergy beams
at spiek omg he was hit! he fell down and tghe girls turned red with anger
they were very very angry and they liked wearing thongs too, they hated
julia soooo much! so thyey flew up and kicked julia right in her big boobs!
and julia went owweee! julia feldl aprat into picese the pieces
they rainded down upon teh city everyone said what r these julia pieces?
they r like a rainstorm of julia!" (omg that would be so horrible
a rainstorm of julia rofl)
sopike was lying there he looked so dead the girls cried the weresqad
they like dhtie rdad he had bad hair and he did not dress in style and
he hatred their mucisc but he was ok besides
I like how the girls just have no names.
Squee: Their names are Britni, Cindi and Traci, but don't tell!
then eh came back with amagic sword of light! the
magi cs sword of light glowed he said i will heal spike with this he will
be alive and he will be spikeka gain, the girls all cheered
jet touched jet with the sword he was slowlyu revived he leaped
up he huggged everyone! he was so happy he wuz alive he sid i am ok now
this is sooo great
Yay! Jet touched himself! ...? Wait...
Youji: Where is Faye during al this?
BBT: toe rape, remember?
and the girls said daddy we
ahve killed the Julia Tron she is very dead she is raining all over the
city, and spike said yay! i am so happyu! meanwhile viciosu jhad
locked fayue in her bedroom in the Malibu Mansion he was turrying to rape
her but he could not do it faye said u can not rape me with your
toe ha ah ah a!and he said oh damn! vicious said "YOU ARE SAYING IMPUDENCE
TO ME! THAT IS IMPUDENCE!"
Well, I just found my new sig quote.
and he trid to wack julia wih
a bonsai tree but he could not do it just then spike camme back he killed
vicious with the bonsai tree
bonsai tree vicioud was dead he had a bonsai tree in
his skull it was really nasty it was sooo bad. jet screamed omg my bonsai
tree it is ruined! and spike saiid do not worry I will buy u a new one
faye said u r being so cute omg and spike said i know i am a
nice guy and faye said u r spike! u r so much! then spike and faye kissed
they did not see jet he was standing thrre with
a bonsai tree and a sad expression on his face but no one knew why
the girls wsaid we can cheer
u up let's dance to britney spears and jet just sat down and cried
Oh my god, escape while you still can, Jet!
the girls tugged on him ok
u can dance to N*sync u would like thme better maybe u can try on one
of my cool t-shirts and jet said NO! His arm
rustiddddd!!! OMG OMG nd he looked at spieka and faye some more
wih that expression but the girls did not know why
so this is the "heartwarming party closing"?
Zonaxx: More like the "heartStopping party closing"
and then gren came
in and he said u look sad! the girls said yes we r!
jet is sad and we do not know why! and gren said i know how
to cheer him up the girls said omg! gren
said WHAT WE NEED IS A TECHNO DANCE PARTY!
Your typing is getting overly coherent, Squee.
BBT: Crazy American disco party! Every one disco
lol andn they all
ha da tencho dance party whilr jet cried adn spieka dand faye were enaughty
and all the iglrs in the nighborrehood cameover and danced
Naughty! and movie stats like brad pitta nd tom cruise cae over and tey
danced(omg kawaiaiiiiiii! KAWAIIEEE!)and spiea dna faye the look ed at
each other they looke daruound at the giels dancing and gren dancing and
dead viocius and brad pitt and tom cruise and jet crying and crying and
thye said "this is just what i always wanted"
and jet just cried
THE END!!!! OMMG! IT IS FINALLY OVER!
bows. EVERYBODY R&R OK PLZ
Youji: And promise a sequel if you get a lot of reviews
Squee: CAHPR 3 + 4 UP ^_^ ... I think I just dropped
fandumb's overall IQ by fifty bajillion points.
*** Youji has quit IRC
(Quit: vicious said "YOU ARE SAYING IMPUDENCE TO ME! THAT IS IMPUDENCE!")