Squee for Me presents: Teh Best Worst Beeebop Fnafiction EVAR

It began innocently enough one night in #cowboybebop on altnet...
Youji: Wow, I wonder if anyone's ever written that fanfic?
BBT: One in which Jet died?
Youji: No, one in which they found the Dragonballs and brought Spike back...
...and thus Squee obliged our curiosity by authoring the following...

*lol it was kinda cute spike wushdff lyihng on the statisz hrhr wass dead suddenly faye came up "spike i have dragonballs u r ok" she sad. Fgayr revived spiek wtih the dfragon balls he was ok he smile d fayr gand spike kissed n they got married an d had three giels who wee pretty an smart and were boutny hunters

Youji: I can't even type that badly if I try
Syd: It's actually harder to type that way.

sudfbeellnly faye was captured by vicous he wuz ok he had lvied her daughters said "we have to redxues mom omgg omg" so theuyf went super saiyan and flew away theyu foudn viciious he was ready toe rape faye

BBT: toe rape?
Youji: ....toe rape?
Digitalsin: toe rape...

sudenepy spike bust in he screame d "STAMD BACK GIRLS I WILL RESCUE FAYE" And etcetera, etcetera. the girlsd said we r all grown up now we can do it! haha spike said no i do not want u to get hurt stand back! th guirls pouted they were sad th ey wanted to be cool, meanwhile vicious was truing to rape faue buit no one notcied they were bithcing to much spiek n thew girls started scrwming at each other meanwhile faye TRANSFORME DI INTO SAILOR FAYE AND SHE MAGICKED VICIOUS'S ASS ROFL ROFL ROFL meanwhbiel vicious rabn wawy he cried "omg faye i did not know you could do that" meanwhile spike and his daughrerz were fightin gan fighting so he gets a mail order bride omg taht si teh sadz spiek powered up and his gi4lzz said omg! omg omg! spike kioedked vicous pansy ass! ffnet si kewl but hen vixious powere du uppp tooo!

Youji: I want to see Spike go SSJ... does that mean his hair becomes even more afro-y?

hhe hit spiek with an energy bult spikw feel ovver he was hurt real bad fayer and the guierls screamed and criwes an viocus went "BWAHAHHAHA!

Youji:...why isn't Jet in this story?
BBT: because Jet is relegated to comic relief in bad fanfic.
Squee: i'm getting to him!

sudehnenly jet burst in lol he was ugl;y not pretty though haha = ( so the gurl wents ewww it is nasty old jet ... jty growled and hei said i will save uu! so he crucnjhed vicious neckk like a REAL MAN AND VICIOUS RAN AWAY

Youji: ...ran away with a broken neck...?

buu spike he was coughing up blood faye cried he is not ging to make it hs tears dropped on spiek and he magically was recvived he jumped up he wwas happy he was fne again! he higged his girls "I am sorry i ever doubted you omg we r family again"

Youji: I have a sudden urge to reread "Hellstorm Evangelion".

then he whsked faye awwya to his Malibu Mansion ihn the swordfish they had really steamuy sex (authorsss note:omg! i am soooo naugghty! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^) eien came up he went omg they r making pupppies that is so romantic jet was feeling very salone and sad so he wnr off to a bar he drowned his woes he was drinking a daquiri


he lokked up from his daquiry he had been cryuing into it omg! it was udai he was ok! he took o0ut his knofe he attacked jey

DS: Oh, well, that's okay then; he didn't go after Jet.

jet leaped up fromm the bar he took out his revolver he shot udai udai just healed himself though (like Mewtwo! ROFL!) udai laughed evily jet gasped omg he will not die! Spike comwae into the bar he wanted a pina coloada but he could nto because jet an dudai were fighitng he went omg! jet i need to help u! so he took ou his LIGHTSABER and he started slashing udai the lightsaber weorked really well for killing udai soon udai was dead and bleeding it was really gross

Youji:( "hedied and blood was EVRYWHEREERE!!!!!!")
DS: Nobody bleeds from lightsabers! Eye can back me up on that one!

spike looked at jet jet was ver thankful he hugged Spike "Omg you r are my best freind how can i ever repay u"

DS: Hot steamy sex.

spieke said "u do not need to repay me! u can come and be a jedi super saiyan samuari anten seven rurouni fencer bounty hunter with me!" so they awll went off to spike's Malibu Mansion and they masde planes to get a bounty theyg girls came in thewy said "can we help please?" jet said "no it is not for girls like u u will get hurt" but spike said no, they r very tough i taught them all aobut karate and judo and they have magic powers like me

DS: gah, I immediately thought "Brett Weaver" when I saw the word 'Malibu'. it's the shirts, man, THE SHIRTS!
BBT: Oh God, now I've got a terrible mental image of Brett, Spike, and Jet all posing for a photo in hawaiian shirts. CURSE YOU, DS! CUUUURRRSE YOOUUUUUUU!!!

th egurls suited uo into thier magic catsuits thy put on thir fighting gear thyey jetted up through the ceiling in their jet packs jet said wow i am impressed with ur girls, spike said haa ha ha they r very pretty and smart and jet said "i know they r" then spie said here is th eboutny she is called julia i used to love her but now I do not because she is a SYNDICATE WHORE! (rofl julia sux so much she is so bad she is all the fault of spikes death ;_; ;_; :_;) so jet and spiek flew off after the girls and they were going to catch julia because she was so bad an devil the girls said "spike u told us about julia u used to likwe her right?" and spike said "no i do not she is ugly and a SYNDICATE WHORE!" they landed in this big apartment building they wnet up the stairs they found julia sh ewas in her apartment making evil plans.

BBT: Julia: "soon I will have ALL THE YARN IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM!"

she cackled insanely "ha ha ha! i will take over the world and I will seduce handsome young men to do my bidding! and then i will kick puppies and talking l33rt! she looked over to her evil assitatns they were gren and ed they were very evil becaus erthye were weird and bad she said "gren and ed, i want u to go and kill spike because he does not love me aymorw!" gren said "no, he is nice" and ed saod "i p33r him!" but julia pointed a gun at their heads and she said "GO AND DO IT OR I WILL MAKE YOU BLEED AND DIE AND U WILL CRY! IT WILL BE VERY BAD!" so they ran away but as they were going down the stairs they met spek and jet and the girls spiek grabed gren u know where julia is! i need to kill her because she is hte fault of my demise!

Squee: "The fault of my demise" Hmm... almost too coherent.
DS: just throw in some Ninja holograms.

gren wwas very loyal though eh liked julia she was ncie to him she even let him borrow her bras they fit just right, so gren said no she is not up there u r wrong ur lead is wrong but spike said NO I KNOW SHE IS U THERE TELL ME THE TRUTH OR I WILL HURT U! but gren stoood his grodn he needed those bras but then ed said "she is right up here! i ph33r you!" so spike and jet and the girls they ran up the stairs they fund julia she was feeling very evil she had alreadyd killed britney spears and eminem and Brad pitt(omg noooo! ;_; she is so evil! i knew it!) she was just makign plans to kill all puppies amd oulaw thongs but then spike burst in he growled and went super saiyan, julia screamed like a little girl! but then spieks girls thye cma eup they tok out their light sabes they did ninja mvoes and they slashed julia to pieces! but then julia's parts came together into MEGA GUNDAM DEATHSCYTHE JULIA MEGA GUNDAM DEATHSCYTHE JULIA shot engergy beams at spiek omg he was hit! he fell down and tghe girls turned red with anger they were very very angry and they liked wearing thongs too, they hated julia soooo much! so thyey flew up and kicked julia right in her big boobs! and julia went owweee! julia feldl aprat into picese the pieces they rainded down upon teh city everyone said what r these julia pieces? they r like a rainstorm of julia!" (omg that would be so horrible a rainstorm of julia rofl)
sopike was lying there he looked so dead the girls cried the weresqad they like dhtie rdad he had bad hair and he did not dress in style and he hatred their mucisc but he was ok besides

Youji: I like how the girls just have no names.
Squee: Their names are Britni, Cindi and Traci, but don't tell!

jet disappeared then eh came back with amagic sword of light! the magi cs sword of light glowed he said i will heal spike with this he will be alive and he will be spikeka gain, the girls all cheered
jet touched jet with the sword he was slowlyu revived he leaped up he huggged everyone! he was so happy he wuz alive he sid i am ok now this is sooo great

DS: Yay! Jet touched himself! ...? Wait...
Youji: Where is Faye during al this?
BBT: toe rape, remember?

and the girls said daddy we ahve killed the Julia Tron she is very dead she is raining all over the city, and spike said yay! i am so happyu! meanwhile viciosu jhad locked fayue in her bedroom in the Malibu Mansion he was turrying to rape her but he could not do it faye said u can not rape me with your toe ha ah ah a!and he said oh damn! vicious said "YOU ARE SAYING IMPUDENCE TO ME! THAT IS IMPUDENCE!"

Youji: Well, I just found my new sig quote.

and he trid to wack julia wih a bonsai tree but he could not do it just then spike camme back he killed vicious with the bonsai tree bonsai tree vicioud was dead he had a bonsai tree in his skull it was really nasty it was sooo bad. jet screamed omg my bonsai tree it is ruined! and spike saiid do not worry I will buy u a new one faye said u r being so cute omg and spike said i know i am a nice guy and faye said u r spike! u r so much! then spike and faye kissed they did not see jet he was standing thrre with a bonsai tree and a sad expression on his face but no one knew why

Zonaxx: JERR-Y! JERR-Y!

the girls wsaid we can cheer u up let's dance to britney spears and jet just sat down and cried

Zonaxx: Oh my god, escape while you still can, Jet!

the girls tugged on him ok u can dance to N*sync u would like thme better maybe u can try on one of my cool t-shirts and jet said NO! His arm rustiddddd!!! OMG OMG nd he looked at spieka and faye some more wih that expression but the girls did not know why

BBT: so this is the "heartwarming party closing"?
Zonaxx: More like the "heartStopping party closing"

and then gren came in and he said u look sad! the girls said yes we r! jet is sad and we do not know why! and gren said i know how to cheer him up the girls said omg! gren said WHAT WE NEED IS A TECHNO DANCE PARTY!

Youji: Your typing is getting overly coherent, Squee.
BBT: Crazy American disco party! Every one disco dancing!

lol andn they all ha da tencho dance party whilr jet cried adn spieka dand faye were enaughty and all the iglrs in the nighborrehood cameover and danced Naughty! and movie stats like brad pitta nd tom cruise cae over and tey danced(omg kawaiaiiiiiii! KAWAIIEEE!)and spiea dna faye the look ed at each other they looke daruound at the giels dancing and gren dancing and dead viocius and brad pitt and tom cruise and jet crying and crying and thye said "this is just what i always wanted" and jet just cried

* Squee bows. EVERYBODY R&R OK PLZ
Youji: And promise a sequel if you get a lot of reviews
Squee: CAHPR 3 + 4 UP ^_^ ... I think I just dropped fandumb's overall IQ by fifty bajillion points.

*** Youji has quit IRC (Quit: vicious said "YOU ARE SAYING IMPUDENCE TO ME! THAT IS IMPUDENCE!")

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